Deployment

We are officially 22 weeks into this deployment. If we are lucky, we have 17 or less to go. I have a confession. This is REALLY hard. The first bit kind of flew by. It felt like a sprint. I was amazed at how quickly time was passing. Of course, I also have an ever-growing parasite keeping me busy. Aden was one day shy of one month old when Seth left. Today he is six months old. 

I think passing the halfway point made time come to a screeching halt. It is such a double-edged sword. I don't want time to pass quicker because my baby boy is growing at an alarming rate. But I want time to pass quicker because I want his daddy to be here to see him grow & learn. Some days leave me wanting to scream "IT ISN'T FAIR!!" I am so sick of watching milestone after milestone pass for Aden and Seth not be here to see it. But I realize that my two year old fit won't get me anywhere and that constant complaining about it won't help time pass more quickly and won't make my husband's job any easier.

I constantly get told "good job" or "I could never do that." Yes, you could. If the love of your life's dream job was to serve and protect and that involved him/her being gone for an extended time, you could. True love always wants what the other person wants. If your choice to spend the rest of your life with someone really hinged on whether they were physically present 100% of the time then maybe you should really re-think that walk down the aisle.

That is all this is. A two-year old fit. A shout out to the world that I, indeed, am very human. Those of you who know me know that fact very well. And I'm probably not fooling anyone by not saying that I want him home all the time. But I want him home all the time.

So instead, I will try to focus on how grateful I am that I can stay at home with my baby boy. That I get to see him grow first hand and not from a phone, or webcam, or texts from a babysitter. I am thankful for my husband. That he has chosen such a selfless life. That he is willing to sacrifice so much so that we can live this life we live. I am grateful for family; that they will always have an open room and open arms in Texas for me and my sweet little family. And I am thankful for my baby boy. He is truly a light in the darkness of this deployment. I know HEB makes Seth smile halfway around the world and he sure lights up my life here.

Also, I am thankful for baby naps in the rocking chair. They have helped me to be very disciplined in getting back into God's Word! And what about that doesn't make a girl smile?